Alpha Magazine

Scene 1: the darkest bush, midnight. In a clearing is a cauldron being stirred by three hideous creatures (Danny Buderus, Kurt Gidley and Josh Perry). They look up with a knowing cackle as a large, limping figure enters, wearing a dirty Manly kit with the socks around his ankles. “Orford!”…

Rumours are flying around the NRL Grand Final that this will be the first in which no footy ball will be used at all. Instead, the greatest spectacle on the league calendar is to be a giant cage-fight, between the grappling beasts of Melbourne and the Jiu-Jitsu living weapons of…

To the excitement of several thousand PR wonks, busily typing an infinite number of press releases, several passers-by and a cow in a nearby paddock that may or may not have been paying attention, the two new additions to the A-League have been unveiled: The Gold Coast Cash-Rollers and the…

In among all the shouting, stamping of feet, replays in slow, loving motion of Sam Thaiday wriggling like a surprisingly fat fish in Cam Smith’s meathooks and suits threatening each other with punishments so horrible small children faint when they hear them, it’s nice to remember there’s a bloody good…

If you’re in Sydney this week leading up to the NRL Grand Final, get down to Martin Place and visit the Alpha Locker Room. It’s your chance to meet some of the Alpha team, get yourself a mag, play some Wii, take in old footy games on our big screens…

In the Tee Off section today, ANTHONY SHARWOOD gives his last word on the AFL Grand Final.

The demand for adult prams and adult playrooms has reached an all-time high in the Melbourne area. The run started at the weekend, when a big baby was told that one of his friends had behaved very badly indeed while playing a game of rugby league and instead of being…

In the Tee Off section today, ANTHONY SHARWOOD says victory should go to a team that will go on to be one of the greatest ever cobbled together.

The cricket tour of India is barely under way and “already” (as if there are gentleman’s rules for these things) the mind games have begun. Disappointingly, this doesn’t mean Mike Hussey was late for breakfast because someone slipped a Sudoko under his door. No, this means someone complained about something,…