Alpha Magazine

The cricket tour of India is barely under way and “already” (as if there are gentleman’s rules for these things) the mind games have begun. Disappointingly, this doesn’t mean Mike Hussey was late for breakfast because someone slipped a Sudoko under his door. No, this means someone complained about something,…

With most games of footy there’s no problem: the car gets a bit stuck in traffic, you and the kids get a pie, the players run out and start bashing into each other – everyone’s a winner. The trouble with a grand final is that it’s VERY IMPORTANT. Way too…

On a day when the Alpha team wonders who is the toughest Aussie sportsman of recent times (someone suggested Kim Hughes as “ironically tough”, but we didn’t get it), and a brave man suspended himself upside down above New York for three days, risking organ failure and stroke (and in…

With only two years to go until the next football World Cup, the money spinning, er, nonsense, er, fundamentals are already being put into place. FIFA’s extravaganza takes place in South Africa in 2010, although the South African team is threatening not to qualify for it and the stadiums and…

The Bucket, safe in his comfy armchair, with a cold beer and the remote sitting conveniently on its own special cushion, is concerned that rugby league is getting way too soft these days. After Cam Smith’s apparent, alleged, possibly, maybe grapple tackle (does that cover us with the lawyers?) on…

Serious concerns were raised last night, when two players turned up sober to a Brisbane Broncos training session. The two, who cannot be named for legal reasons and other reasons, admitted that they were well aware of the strict compulsory drinking policy at the club, but because they are athletes…

Western Bulldogs’ coach Rodney Eade says his side has made a quantum leap forward this season, although let’s hope it’s not the episode where he becomes a monkey being trained as an astronaut. To be honest, that’s where the series jumped the shark, but what do I know?. The Bucket…

A goldfish has warned that the size of his bowl is getting dangerously small. The fish, one of the bigger, louder species “NRL whinger” says that while tabloid interest in goldfish was increasing, his bowl was now so small, there was barely any room to have uncomfortable sex with his…

“Captain, there’s a giant, cubed spaceship off the starboard bow!” “What? Run away, warp factor nine! There’s only one race I know like that.” “The Borg, sir? The terrible Borg?” “No, worse. Cricket Australia! And it wants to assimilate us all into its really boring collective!” “Where everyone is focused…