Alpha Magazine

Ben Cousins has denied in a press conference that he is addicted to media attention. Talking to a throng of assembled journalists, Cousins moved swiftly past questions relating to drug use to squash rumours that he continues to address throngs of assembled journalists on a regular basis. “I’m doing my…

The famous charm, tact, diplomacy and general good will for which Russell Crowe is famous (didn’t he call Sharon Stone a baboon that looked like it had been kicked up the arse? I may have made that up, but), was on full display during his videotaped Christmas message for Souths…

The Honda car company, keen to cut a few costs after sales sank like a stone, has gone through the books with a Japanese toothfish. After a few scribbled comments like “toilet paper too thick” and “factory exercise hour too long” they came across the item “F1 - $200m”. And…

In the centenary year of the NRL, it must be a relief that the latest example of league-related bad behaviour has nothing to do with them. The NRL powers that be can at least brace themselves for the Christmas season of player mayhem in the knowledge that whether or not…

South Africa’s Graeme Smith, possibly the world’s most loved and admired cricketer (after Harbhajan Singh) has admitted that the world may come to an end if his team lose the upcoming Test series against Australia. “This is the biggest thing in history!” shouted Smith, screwing up his little face and…

Oh, what’s a cricketer to do? For years they moan about playing too much, how their marriages are falling to bits, they never see their kids, they never get the chance to rest, recover, practice, retrain, blue sky. But THEN… Then the big bucks arrive and Indian loony leagues arrive…

In news guaranteed to generate pity in absolutely no-one in Australia, the boss of failing French rugby team Toulon has been moaning about how it’s all gone wrong for him. “Volatile millionaire” (rich, interfering, mercenary tantrum-haver) Mourad Boudjellal has looked at the crop of big-name signings (including a knacked Sonny…

Safe in his nice house in [insert name of very quiet suburb in very safe part of town], ICC chief Haroon Lorgat (a double-point score if ever there was one) has asked the England cricket team if they wouldn’t mind returning to the current centre of the terrorist hurricane for…

It’s been far too long since the Bucket made lazy, half-remembered and 78 per cent inaccurate comparisons to 25-year-old TV series, so I’ve rolled up my sleeves and gone for it. There was one episode of Blackadder where the man himself was about to get married and looking for a…