Alpha Magazine

Yesterday was the day for doubt and fear. A day to test the faith, go to church and hope a falling tree didn’t get you on the way. It was a day when little girls asked, “Why do bad things happen to good people, Daddy?” And Daddy had no answer.…

Nothing makes clubs angrier, yet nothing is more downright entertaining to the neutral observer, than when teammates grab the handbags and start hitting each other. After that, no matter how often the manager trots out the solidarity line, you know there’s serious cup-throwing going on behind the scenes. And it…

With his crystal balls at the ready (no jokes, please, it’s tough to talk about), the Bucket can make several predictions about the coming Test series with New Zealand: Every time Matthew Hayden gets a score below 30, everyone will say he’s on his way out. Ponting will get a…

A proven and repeated drug-taker who is keen to resume working for a company that bans drug-taking, has become angry that the company will make sure he isn’t still taking drugs when he comes to work for them again. “I can’t believe it,” said the potential employee. “Just because I’ve…

Not long ago, along with many other media outlets, commentators, ex-players and other esteemed experts, the Bucket may have given the impression that it wasn’t looking forward to seeing the great spinning master Jason Krejza play his first Test match. Headlines such as “Anyone But Jason”, “Who Is This Idiot”,…

In his pursuit of cheap wealth through gambling, the Bucket has already been sadly humbled. Part one of his carefully thought-out trifecta (a team of English toddlers to beat the Wallabies for the Creche Cup) went west last night thanks to Matt Giteau, leaving only Fiji to beat the Kangaroos…

Australia, traditionally able to win any number of cricket matches without an all-rounder, is now twisting itself in knots trying to choose between two of them, both capable of malfunctioning at any minute. In the red corner (naturally) we have Andrew “Bruiser” Symonds, moody, athletic fish botherer with “undisclosed” misdemeanours…

Featured in the November issue of Alpha (call (02) 9288 3099 if you haven’t got it, back issue fans), our tough list was a result of weeks of arguments and shouting among Alpha staff. You can still click here to have a look at the list, read people’s many, many…

The Wallabies’ rugby tour is – like Movember – a bit hairy, slow-going and worthy, but sometime at Christ-I-should-really-get-to-bed o’clock on Sunday morning, the men in green and gold will actually play a game against the Poms with a little bit of interest in it. Both sides have seen big…