The Masters Champions Dinner

Each year, the defending US Masters champ sets the menu for the official dinner for former winners. Sandy Lyle’s haggis in 1989 was one to avoid, while Vijay Singh’s array of Fijian-Indian delicacies in 2001 and Tiger Woods’ burgers in ’98 are two spreads we’re sorry to have missed. If only an Aussie would win the damn tournament, we could at last introduce the world to the delights of dog’s eyes and Vegemite.

Jeff Fenech’s Mum’s Pasta

Like all boxers, Fenech would head straight to the dining room after weigh-in to bulk up for a big fight. But only one dish would do: his mum’s pasta. We can’t confirm the rumour that he would address his spaghetti before devouring it with a “I love youse all,” but we’d like to think he did.

Sore Wieners

First came the mighty deeds of Japanese professional eater Takeru “Tsunami” Kobayashi (right). Then along came Joey “Jaws” Chestnut (left), who, in ’07, gobbled 66 hot dogs in 12 minutes, dethroning Kobayashi by three dogs in a controversial countback. Tsunami has never fully regained his appetite.

Ryan Bayley’s KFC

One of the souvenirs in the Alpha office is the docket from a lunch with the cycling champ. Burgers, fries and coke were on the menu that day, which made a change from the fried chicken that Bayley munched on his way to dual golds in Athens. Well, you should eat a balanced diet.

Have a Cow, Man

Milo of Croton was a legendary wrestler who was a six-time champ at the ancient Olympics. He trained by carrying a cow around, which he’d eat to celebrate a victory. He also once drank nine litres of wine for a bet.

Cheese Rolling

There are few sporting events where food is a key piece of kit – as opposed to the fuel that enables the sport to happen. One exception is the very Pommy annual Cooper’s Hill cheese-rolling event in England. Though looking at the picture below, we Aussies have them at this sport, too.

Warne’s Fat Pizza

Warnie is famous for his love of mammoth Hawaiian pizzas. How typical that the object of his affection should get him into trouble? In ’04, when dining at a swish seafood restaurant, a pizza from a takeaway joint arrived at his table. Warne was duly ejected to eat it in a nearby park.

Roger Clemens’ Chook

There’s a line of argument that says drug-tainted US baseballer Roger Clemens consumed chicken from China that had been injected with steroids. Then there’s the theory that Clemens ingested the said substances in a slightly more direct manner. You decide which seems more likely.

Salmonella Blub

Before the ’95 Rugby World Cup final in South Africa, the All Blacks were allegedly food poisoned in their hotel. A mysterious waiter called Suzie was blamed, who we reckon was about as guilty as Joe the Cameraman. The Kiwis still harp on about it.

Fat Boy Dim

Redneck golfer John Daly has consumed truckloads of booze and ciggies in his life, but the one constant in his diet is 18 diet cokes per day. As he once said: “I believe nicotine plus caffeine equals protein.” Science suggests otherwise.