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Every month, Alpha features, our super-duper guide to everything coming up in your favourite sports, eye-popping photos, training tips from the stars, the gear to wear while you’re doing it, plus cars, gadgets, movies, video games, travel… So much goodness for $2.95 it’s a sin not to buy it.
- Proteas star checks into rehab
- Keane quits Sunderland
- India replace Ganguly with Singh
- More England appearances drive Beckham
- Ashes nemesis back in the swing
- Bird's fate still up in the air
- Jones boy solid in title defence
- Crocs put bite on Breakers
- Proteas don't deserve No.1 ranking
- Big names booked for Sydney
Bird Caged
After 16 days of drama, tension, joy, police harassment and giant moving flower thingies, it’s good – so good it hurts – to get back to normal. And by normal, of course, we mean that the Bulldogs are getting beat and Greg Bird’s in jail.
We’re still dreaming of the time when league players all tick the boxes marked “Won’t get into a fight”, “Won’t do anything dumb and illegal this week” or any of the other activities most of the population manage to avoid on a daily basis. We (and our lawyers) aren’t making any comment about Bird’s weekend, but wouldn’t it be jolly if he hadn’t finished it rattling his tin cup along bars and singing about working for the man?
"At 28k I thought, 'what the hell do I do this for?' "
Lee Troop on his agony during the Olympic marathon. He finished 60th.
The Prime Minister yesterday added his praise for Australia’s efforts in Beijing. “What is an Olympics?” He said. “Did Betty Cuthbert swim? I have a lot of paperwork to do.” Just joking, of course – our sports-crazy top man said something very polite indeed, although with a slightly confused look on his face.
The ICC has graciously decided to postpone the Champions Trophy in Pakistan, after it became obvious that not a single player was going to turn up. “Pakistan will retain the right to host the tournament but it was agreed that if other members continued to express reservations over issues of safety and security (ie, wave after wave of suicide bombings) then the ICC Board would have the right to decide about the tournament’s location,” said a nervous suit, as he watched thousands of rupees vanish in a puff of non terrorism-related smoke.
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Comments
On 26 August 2008 Smackdaddy says:
Ah, the Sharks. Just when they are a remote chance to actually have a shot at making a Grand Final, their best player has yet another brain explosion.
Counting down the years till League and union merge…
SmackD.
On 26 August 2008 Crazy Dave says:
League and Union merge???
You have got to be kidding SmackD!! Haven’t you heard that the NRL are trialling an 11-a-side match in the Toyota Cup? Moving even further from Union…
On 27 August 2008 SmackD says:
Crazy Dave
Eventually they will become one code of 7-a-side touch football played by men in netball skirts.
You mark my words.
Well, actually, don’t, cos they are rubbish.
SmackD.
On 29 August 2008 Bob B says:
Just continuing the long procession of young men with too much money, too much spare time, and no guidance in life. If he is found guilty (which many people have already decided anyway) he goes down as sleazeball of the year, not only for glassing his girl, but for then trying to get his best mate to take the fall for him.
Hmmmm....eleven-a-side you say Crazy Dave. Interesting to see how they will pack scrums without a hooker or lock