Best interview: Anything Sally McLellan said. It was beyond any interviewer’s powers to stop or reason with her. Incredible.
Best image: Michael Phelps’ screaming, muscle-shredding celebration as his relay team touched first – just – to keep him on track for 75 gold medals.
Worst excuse : “That’s sport.” No, it’s not, Craig Mottram. Just run faster.
Worst broadcaster: Chinese State broadcasting (“Everybody in China is happy. That is a fact.”) was left for dead by the useless Channel Seven, whose service consisted of a billion ads occasionally interrupted by a slow-motion montage of people falling down. Their light “entertainment” interview show Yum Cha was pitiful.
Best Moment: Usain Bolt gritting his teeth and going for it to break the 200m world record – one of the hardest in the books.
Ballsiest “Olympic partner”: Qantas, who continued to show sick-making ads about bringing our brave heroes home, despite suffering almost daily glitches in the sky throughout the games.
Biggest criminal: That Chinese gymnast who is apparently not 16, but nine or something. We should all gang up and hunt her to the ends of the earth. Oh, we are already.
Worst joke: AOC’s John Coates retreads a 50-year-old gag about the Poms’ washing habits – just as they storm past us on the medal table.
Best banner: “Nothing can stop the power of China” Held up by Chinese fans padding out the sparse crowd at one venue. These guys really need to be serious for once.
Gutsiest performance: Anna Meares, a dignified silver medallist in cycling six months after an accident nearly paralysed her.
Most short-sighted: Cuban Taekwondo star Angel Valodia Matos, reacted to being disqualified by kicking the referee in the head. Now he’ll have to play Taekwondo by himself for the rest of his life.
Best surprise: BMX. Fantastic racing, massive stacks, non-stop excitement. Those pesky kids have all the fun.