“I will certainly make sure this doesn’t happen again.”

Tiger Woods. Read it again a few times. Starts to sound sinister, doesn’t it?

They (whoever they are) keep insisting that West Indies skipper Chris Gayle is an arrogant, mercenary excuse for a captain, whose latest folly was to casually lead his men down the throat of doom in the first Test. Two days, they rage, has cheated the public and shamed the legend that is Windies cricket. BUT! Our feeling, here at the palace of wisdom, is that Gayle knew exactly what he was doing. Knew what a beautiful, sun-drenched weekend was on the way around the country, so instead of subjecting the nation to more tortuous days of watching this wretched team fumble its way abjectly around a field, we were all let off to go to the beach. Hurrah! Hmm.

Amusing news just in of Sydney Roosters chairman Nick Politis’ suggestion that his team “re-brand” itself as the Bondi Roosters, because Bondi is a “strong marketing name”. The Bucket finds this hard to believe. If you want to re-brand yourself, don’t become associated with a suburb of yoga-doing, wheatgrass-drinking, special-expensive-muesli-eating ponces. Do it properly: call yourself the Really Good Roosters; or the God Likes Us Best Roosters; or the Australian Idol Winner Roosters; or the Barack Obama Roosters; or the Tiger Woo… OK, not that last one.